Kingdom Hearts Llama Song Collection
by KittyMaverick
Summary: You know the KH series is begging to have these, and now they are here! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! Warning: May contain character bashing
1. The Sora Song

**Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, its storyline or the characters. I just bash them, sometimes…oh, and I also don't own the original Llama song... thankfully...**

**Note 1: The original version is over at deviantart, also under my account (creatorsoul)...fanfiction, unfortunately, does not allow me to type astericks...resulting in a loss of extreme humor here...(Mourns...)**

**Note 2: I DO NOT HATE ANY CHARACTERS FROM KH! I JUST LIKE MAKING FUN OF THEM, BECAUSE THEY ARE FUN TO MAKE FUN OF! (Horrible logic...I know...)**

**Note 3: ...Review, pleasy please?**

* * *

**The Sora Song**

Here's a Sora,  
There's a Sora,  
And another clueless Sora.  
Merman Sora,  
Vampire Sora,  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

Sora, Sora,  
Heartless Sora.  
Model,  
Flower, _  
_Dragon, _  
_Sora.  
Sora, Sora,  
Hades,  
Sora,  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

Sora wields a keyblade,  
Roxas wields them too.  
And I really wonder if  
His shoe size's fifty two.  
He travels in a Gummi Ship;  
His friends he tries to find,  
But that doesn't explain why  
He cried when Vexen died.

Have you ever seen a Sora,  
Getting 'lectrocuted, Sora.  
Make a face distorted, Sora.  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

Flying Sora,  
Pwn'ed Sora,  
Wished he had more health now, Sora.  
Naïve Sora,  
Not bright Sora,  
Sora, Goofy,  
Duck.

At the end of KH one  
Sora found his girl,  
But he wanted Riku too…  
Do you want some Earl? _  
_Not that I want to promote  
hot Riku Sora Yaoi…  
I just question why he only  
cried for his pal.

Sleeping Sora,  
Yawning Sora,  
What the hell just happened, Sora.  
Dancing 'round in circles, Sora.  
Sora, Goofy,  
Duck.

Sora, Sora,  
Pluto,  
Sora.  
Feathers,  
Mage,  
Explosions,  
Sora.  
OMG! So much!_  
_Quick! Sora!  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

Thanks to react commands,  
Sora's still alive.  
Not to mention one where  
he hits Demyx with a light! Gasp  
Sora's got a simple mind.  
That's why he needs a guide.  
(Someone go and choke him,  
The kid cheered when Xemmy died!)

Have you ever seen a Sora  
Getting sick of Roxas, Sora.  
Use their weapons 'gainst them, Sora!  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

Angry Sora,  
Surprised Sora.  
Insulting people's bad now, Sora.  
He deserved that meteor! Sora,  
Sora, Sora,  
Duck.

The nobodies are gone now, sniff  
Sora killed them all. sniff  
He all made them disappeared sniff  
Up in jet black smokes. Trumpet nose blow…  
When they breathed their last few lines,  
He hardly even cared!  
(That's why I keep saying  
That kid likes a massacre!)

Sora's evil! Sora's evil!  
Sora's evil! Sora's evil!  
No really, the kid is evil!  
Evil!  
Evil Duck!

**Next up, "The Riku Song"…**


	2. The Riku Song

**Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts, otherwise the storyline would have been very different... Don't own original Llama song either!**

**Note 1: More complete version also at deviant (refer to previous chapter). In my opinion, a thousands times more painful for Riku fans, but also a thousand times funnier with all the action and comments...**

**Note 2: Anything else I put in the first chapter...too lazy to type again...**

**Note 3: Anything that are in italics and quotations eg _"word"_ are sound effects, not part of the lyrics...**

* * *

**The Riku Song**

Here's a Riku,  
There's a Riku,  
And another racing Riku.  
Lounging Riku,  
Pond'ring Riku,  
Riku, Riku,  
Duck.

Riku, Riku,  
Hard-work Riku.  
Raft boat,  
Paopu,  
Big log,  
Riku.  
Riku, Riku— _"Crackaboom!"  
_Stormy!  
Riku,  
Riku, Riku,  
Duck.

Riku's Sora's best friend,  
Both live somewhere…Here?...Oh!  
So it must be destiny  
That he's the anti-hero.  
Though Squeenix made it quite clear…  
Just look at that hair color! _  
_Not to mention those green eyes,  
Like that famous others—

Have you ever seen a Riku,  
Standing in the ocean, Riku.  
Tsunami's coming this way, Riku!  
Riku, Riku,  
Duck.

Fearless Riku,  
Darkness Riku,  
(Maleficent's baby Riku!)  
No longer a "Riku" Riku,  
Ansem Riku,  
Duck.

So Riku joined the wrong side,  
To be fighting on.  
Just like dear old Anakin—

(Let's stick to Kingdom Hearts!)  
Ansem's heartless possessed him,  
in the heat of battle.  
(And godammit, there was not Yaoi  
Involved in that at all!)

Floating Riku.  
Lost now Riku?  
Need a doorway to light, Riku?  
Mickey go and save him, Riku!  
Riku, Mickey,  
Chipmunks.

Riku, Riku  
Chilly—_"whack"_  
Riku…  
Silent —_"hack"_  
Zexi—_"slash"_  
Copy—_"crash"_  
Riku!!  
…R-COM fans! _"fangirl/boy screams"_  
Let's follow Riku! _"Stampede"_  
Revenge is sweety!  
Mouse.

Riku fought with Roxas,  
'Cause Diz told him it'll help  
His friend that's in that lotus thing— _  
_But we know that it failed.  
So Riku became Ansem,  
And got through with his aim.  
Now old Diz may go and laugh  
In his great big shame.

Have you ever seen a Riku  
Hide his face in hood now, Riku.  
Leave 'em clues for Sora, Riku.  
Riku, Riku…  
Rock.

Ansem Riku,  
Shameful Riku.  
Trying to sneak away, Riku?  
Kairi go and stop him! "Riku!"  
Sora: "Wha-HOW?"  
…Heart?

Riku later changed back  
To his good old self.  
Grown all hot and sexy—  
(Leave that Yaoi to the shelf!)  
He's even got a new wardrobe,  
With some normal shoes!  
But was that blindfold really  
Necessary? …fine, you choose…  
_  
_Riku's cuter! Sora's cuter!  
RIKU'S CUTER! SORA'S CUTER!  
DAMMIT, ROXAS IS THE CUTEST! _  
_GET OUT, YOU GUYS! NOW!  
_"Heave heave heave heave…"  
_…Duck.

**To be continued with "The Kairi Song"…**


End file.
